jueves, febrero 09, 2006
it was a thing i heard from camile[which she had read from a book.ohyah.]
co-dependency was defined by this situation.now, here we go:
~there was this man who is an alcoholic.he was such an alcohol dependent that his mood would be depended upon the availability of the drink. to avoid the lacking of drinks, he keeps bottles into different parts ofthe house[see the logic?]. one day, he ran out of alcoholic drinks. he look and look around the house but didn't succeed in finding even one. he was devastated. his mood was suddenly so meek. to rub salt into the injury(do i got the idiom right?anyway), the liqour shops are close that day. he searched for miles and miles until he finally found one. but guess what did hedo to the drink?... when he was back home again with the drink in his hands, he didn't drink it. instead, he kept it to one part of the house, finally feeling well with the idea of having at least one alcoholic drink in his welfare.
now, you at least got the idea?i hope.
co-dependency isn't a good kind of relationship. people sufferin in thistendsto dependto another person or things his happiness. in the case of co-depending on people, you incline to do anything to make the person want you back[sounds every bit like a martir]. you also seemed to be afraid being left alone. you tend to be with anyone[and i mean anyone] just so you wouldn't have to face the world single-handedly.
in the case of obsessing things like alcohol and food, you only feel better and comfortable with the idea of owning this things. in the long run, you feel more better in the idea of having this cravings rather than having it in reality[like in a relationship.you are much more thrilled in planning and dreaming than when the thingsare really in front of you].
the differencewith liking things with liking people is that you tendto hope that the person would then reciprocate to your feelings. if they don't, you would be hurt bigtime. that is thereason why you do anythin just to please the person.
you depend on another people or thingsfor happinessandcontentment. now, growth would be impossible for you.
not a good kind of relationship, huh..
the best kind of relationsip is inter-dependent ones. you are related to one another but you go on with your own life.now, growth would be available for both of you.just great.
when camile told me this, i was struck.
'am i co-dependent?' well, honestly, it seems to me that i cant go on being alone.i just cant imagine myself being a loner..am naturally talkative. but i chose who i went out with.so am not directly hit, ayt? well, i would admit that i do almost anythin to please the person i like. but i know my limitations.so am not having the co-dependecy complex, ayt? ah wel.i hope not.
***cortesy of shiela camile.