memoirs of a holy shit..

see this

2007-01-14T19:19:00.000+08:00

Can you name 13 of ur classmates in
college that u can think of right off
the top of your head. Don't read the
questions underneath until you write
the names of all 13 people. This is a
lot funnier if you actually randomly
list the names first. No Cheating!!!

1. drew
2. camile
3. kervi
4. steph
5. kuya pat
6. nikki
7. eunice
8. ethei
9. mondi
10. yela
11. pam
12. justine
13. chez

How did you meet 10?
-= she's my blockmate.

What would you do if you had never met
1?
-= i'LL be REALLY sad. he's my best paL,
that's why.

What would you do if 6 and 2 dated?
-= cams and nix? nothing. fershur, it'LL
be just a date between friends.

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
-= no.and i dont want to.

Do you think 10 is cute?
-= yea. LaLo na nung umakyat sa Laruan
na pambata.

How did you get to know 8?
-= dahiL sa kakambaL niya na friend ko.

Would you ever go on a date with number
12?
-= si justine? i dont think so.. gee.

What's 7's Favorite color?
-= ni eunice? di ko aLam eh. sorry nis.

What would you do if 5 confessed they
loved you?
-= tatawa! haha! sasayaw na Lang kami ni
Kuya Pat ng Britney.

Fact about 9:
-= parang bata. at UPManiLa Choralers yan!

Who is 4 going out with?
-= maLay ko. parang waLa ata.

who is number 5 to you?
-= my ever kind UPM StreetDance corps
president.

Would you ever live with 13?
-= maybe.

Is 2 single?
-= yea.pero... [hehe! hi cams]

Where does 7 live?
-= moLino, Cavite. tama ba, nis?
nakarating na ako sa kaniLa pero di ko
aLam ang eksaktong address.

What do you think about 3?
-= aynaku. masamang iLagay dito.
naaaLaLa ko yung nangyari nuong
christmas party ng chorale!

What's the best thing about number 8?
-= she's kind. and a beauty. and a soprano.

What do you like about number 11?
-= napakabait.

Favorite Memory with 2?
-= aw! madame! yung lugaw, ung pizza,
ung tsokolates. haha, mukhang puro
pagkain Lang yan pero me storya sa likod
niyang mga nabanggit. ;P

outrageous

2007-01-14T18:48:00.000+08:00

yeayea. i have new crazes nowadays. for one, i'm dancing again. uhm, actuaLLy, i aLready danced Last night at metro bar for the music runway event of the jma-upm. it was fun. i think i did good yesterday compared to my past performances onstage. one thing about Last night is that i never even felt nervous. aLL i feLt was tiredness. it took too much effort to dance at past 12 in the morning. i had to summon a great deaL of energy to be abLe to make it. ow, and another thing about Last night, i smiLed! wahaha. big deaL. i dont usuaLLy smile when i dance because as far as I am concern, smiLing and counting and remembering the steps are NOT a good combination. reaLLy, it was aLways either i dance weLL with a face that even the greatest painter couldn't paint OR i smiLe a reaLLy bright smiLe and dance to my own beat and make up my own steps. oyweLL, Last night was a change. i just hope that i'LL stiLL have the same disposition on Jan20 for the sayaw maniLa. gee. that one is a bigger event. one wish? he'LL teLL mme that im good. ;P

2006-12-16T19:56:00.000+08:00

haha! i realized just now taht i received a lot of gifts from friends this year. ;p i got a good haul this year. supermega WOW!

* a new goodlooking brown pair of doll shoes from drew, eunice, ethei and kervi.
* a red Bench cap from camile.
* a book titled Mad Mary from Kervi.
* a cellphone necklace holder from eunice.
* some Bench products from ate Macy.
* an oatmeal soap from carmina.

taht is just a start. though some are from 'exchange gifts', they still a re gifts. i mean, gifts are gifts, no matter how or where you get it. and im expecting a lot more! ;p

atsk.atsk.

2006-12-15T00:05:00.000+08:00

atak. atsk. now, im back.. its been so long.

are we at war? i want to think that we are not. i have a grudge about something but the last thing that i want is to have a war with that very person. napaka. ainaku. tanes. i dont know what to do.. i hate this state where you are not sure of what to do, you don't have the total control about things. i mean, oh well... anu nga ba?

gee. tell you more about it next time.

2006-09-06T22:38:00.003+08:00

somethin i saw at the frienster's bulletin board. owa!
this is camile's post..

i guess, u already know the reason behind the act of posting this here..

wateber.

Can you name 13 people you can think
of right off the top of your head? Don't read the
questions underneath until you write the names of
all 13 people...This is a lot funnier if you actually
randomly list the names first...No Cheating!!!

1.cami
2.drew
3.ace
4.anne
5.pao
6.lizer
7.tin
8.jean
9.cobi
10.eunice
11.carla
12.je
13.judilei

What would you do if you had never met 1?
dunno. id be sad without her though.

Do you think 1 is cute?
yeah. (wat are friends for? :D)

Tell me something about number 11
my friend. really smart.

Is 2 single?
complicated. haha

Favorite Memory with 2?
c drew? haha. everyday we're together feels great.

camile's birthday

2006-08-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

it is such a big deal for me to make august 8, 2006 the most beautiful [or at least, an unforgetable one] for camile. this year is her debut, the day she'll turn eighteen and greet the society with renewed vigor... ahhh, whatever.

i know that it isn't really in my hands to make her birthday a succesful one, but i still have a part, ain't i? so why not put my best to get my part done well..

that day, i want her to feel how special she is to me. to us. she's such a treasured friend of mine that i wouldn't want to lose and her friendship is the kind that i would want to hold on forever.aww, dramatic.

drew and i conspired to one hell of a plan to surprise her on her birthday. here is the plan..

1. we'll give her flowers. as in a big bouquet of assorted flowers that could draw attentions when she walk around AS..

2. i want to give her pink balloons. preferably, three balloons. can symbolize the words 'i love you' or each of us [three balloons for me, drew and cams]

3. a collage of birthday greetings from friends..

4. a box with assorted gifts inside. the total number of items in the box is 18 since she's turning 18... what's included in the box are:

**~** because she'll be a lady:
~1. a pouch
~2. a set of make-up brushes
~3. a polish
~4. a mirror
~5. a comb
~6. a napkin [hehe]
~7. tissue

**~** because she loves reading books
~8. a book of Chridtropher Pike
~9. a set of bookmarks

**~** because i love her
~10. a picture of her past crush..

**~** because its her birthday
~11. candles
~12. a cupcake [since we couln't afford a cake]

**~** because she id still a child at heart [evidence is being CHILDISH at costant occurence]
~13. a toy

**~** because she's sweet
~14. a pack o0f candy to represent it

**~** simply because i love her [again]
~15. two pins
~16. a notebook full of messages from drew and i

**~** because she's a WOMAN of the world now
~17. a lace t-back underwear
~18. a box of protection aka CONDOM

= = = = = = = = = = =

i hope with all the efforts we exerted and all the sacrifices we have gone through, we'll succeed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMS!!

dahil sa paghabol sa bus..

2006-08-05T19:52:00.000+08:00

tsk.
lampayasong buhay ito.
ng dahil sa paghabol sa bus, natapilok ako.
at naipitan ng lamad. at masakit ang paa ko.
at mahirap lumakad.
pati na tumayo ng matagal.
at sumayaw ng ayos.
at ang pangit ng paa ko.
ang taba.
dahil NAMAMAGA.
at NANGINGITIM.
at may sugat pa.
at puro pasa.
hindi lang ang may bukung-bukong.
kundi ang halos buong paa.
hanggang likod.
kamusta naman un?
ipinahilot ko na ito.
sa kasamaang palad, di magaling ang naghilot.
ang resulta?
mahigit isang linggo na ang sakit.
tsk.kawawa.
at sa ubod ng kawalang swerte, nadoble pa ang sakit.
dahil natapilok uli ako kahapon.
anu ba yon?
tsk.

2006-07-30T18:14:00.000+08:00

hi..oh well, i had auditioned for indayog for the second time.. as you can read in the latter part of this post, i didn't make it. but unlike the first time, i don't feel bad.in fact, i feel good. its not bad that i didn't make it because i am not really into dancing now. and i have far more better things to do than dancing onstage[not that dancing is not as appealing to me as before, otherwise i shouldn't have taken streetdance for my PE]. one of those few more important things is making myself visible to miah.ahehehe.

now, thisis what the indayog execom told me..

Hi Cami! Thank you again for auditioning last week. *clap*clap*clap* We are sorry to inform you though that you did not make the list but please don’t be disheartened! We would very much like to see you again next auditions and at our competitions and shows as well! Until then, here are a few points to ponder on. We hope this can help you in the future in becoming the best dancer you can be.

Here’s what we liked about you:

You smile.
You’ve got groove and some confidence.
You’ve got determination.

Things you might want to try or work on:

Mas astig tingnan ang sayaw pag masconfident ka. Enjoy lang ang sayaw.
Connect with the audience more often.
Make your smiles more consistent.
Try to make your steps mas malaki. Huwag pigilin ang sarili.

Sana naman po positive yung magiging outlook mo sa results. Indayog will always be here to help. Sana magkita-kita po tayo ulit!!!

Keep the passion burning and Just dance!

actually, i enjoyed the audition and the pressure i felt.. and for me, that is enough. i my decide to try again next time, but not for the sake of joining the organization but for the sake of feeling the pressure of dancing in front of somebody with authority in the field. that way, i can relive the days of my hs performances. ata!

none

2006-07-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

hola! great to be back into the circulation.

i know this thing is long overdue, but so what?

here is the list of my subjects this semester..

ORCOM101...ang pinaka malufet! yah!haha. [MTh 10-11:30 Prof.Sarile]
~toxic as this subject is, i love it.the prof is the founder of the discipline and she is great, a real practical teacher. tells a lot of tips on how to face the world[and conquer it if you must]. she isn't boring, that is one sure thing. she loves infolink. and she can't miss giving me nervous spasms and butterflies in the stomach..

NatSci4...[Mth 2:30-4 Prof Marquez]
~thi8s is one sure fun. i repeat, F-U-N. he, or should i say she?, is a great prof who knows his thing.. his antics are entertaining and the anecdotes would surely give you a laugh. he has this pet, a student also, who he always makes kulit.. the result?burst of laughter. though his subject is a bit on the toxic side, with all those lectures you have to dtudy, it is a great welcome for my 2nd year..

Hum1. [TF2:30-4 Prof Manzanilla]
~ this is one sure hell, can't say i enjoy the subject thouigh this is a subject for literary enthusiasts.. not sure if the 'hell' is because of the teacher, the subject itself, or the classmates im with.. tell you more about it later..

Hum2... [MTh 7-8:30 Prof Levy Anchanzar]
~really good. though i dont always want the lectures, the trips are great5.. we already went to angono, rizal and there is still a trip to paete, laguna and pampangga to await for.. she makes me appreciate theater art.. i had been into ccp twice, and the experience is great..

Psych10..[TF 1-2:30 Prof Ramiro]
~this one is about discovering oneself. the goal is to understand yourself better by the end of the semester.. the class is not boring, we have this small group consisted of six persons[me, camile, john, hovie, honeylet nad tin].. this one lets us to share our innermost thoughts to our groupmates then eventually, to the class. maybe, just maybe, i would be able to know myself more..

Street Dance aka STD..[TAB 7-9 Inst. Flores]
~FUN, FUN, FUN!! DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!!! As simple as that..

a lesson learned..

2006-07-04T11:59:00.000+08:00

a lesson learned [in the tragic, shameful way]

NEVER TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR CRUSH IN PUBLIC...

SPECIALLY IF HE CAN SEE YOU AND KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING

gosh, i so like Miah..really deep liking..could even say im a bit infatuated..

Miah is the year's president of UPAdHere..not bad looking, but not a strickingly hot papa.. so what?he's got the personality that i love for a guy.. so nice, responsible, down-to-earth and many other adjectives that could fill my list of his on and on characteristics.. listing it here will just bore you to death. any way, those are just my impressions.. we're not really close.. true enough that i can talk to him, text him, can borrow notes from him and greet him whenever i meet him along the corridors of UPManila or along the street of Faura[and to my fortune, he smiles and wave back.. to add more delight, sometimes he is the one who greets me first because i have a very pathetic, low-vision eye].. but that kind of relationship with him is not enough to make me feel alive for months.. i want him to know me better and t0 have a more deeper relationship with him, i mean, it isn't bad to wish that i want him to be my friend, right?well, as others say, at least he knows my existence on this fu**** planet..

well, today, we were in the caf when i saw him from the next table. gosh.. then nikko, lou's apple of the eye appeared... i took picz of nikko's through camile's phone.. too many photos actually.. then wen miah was about to leave, i took of picz of him too.. in one photo, he is lookin at me..BUSTED! he knew what i was doin all the time.. lou said that he was lookin at my direction every now and then while i was busy [and OBVIOUSLY] takin picz of nikko.. gosh, i am so abashed ! eew, i feel bad.. i don't know what to do.. will i pretend that nothing happened or shall i stay away from him now? i guess he knows that i have this thing for him again.. it is not hard to put two on two together.. should i be ashamed of my behavior, or rather, my misbehavior?

aahh, that is so draining...

summer is taking its toll...

2006-05-03T19:02:00.000+08:00

oh wow! at long last, i'm back to modern world where the great form of civilization exists!

as you can see, i was prevented of updating my blog during the last month of my life... summer as it is and i have completely nothing in my hands to do but take the rest and relaxation i was deprived of during the year, i wasn't able to get my hands on the keyboard and type my daily musings due to the fact that i was dragged off to the place where no computer exists and the soft chirping of birds could be heard from the room you had slept in.. yah, as you guess...

and guess what? those days aren't yet over...

its been so long..

2006-03-26T17:54:00.000+08:00

wow! its been so loong since the last time i posted...

well, the reason behind all those nonposting was the increasing loads of works that i had to attend to but in the most unfortunate reason, i haven't still done it yet. well, everytime i got through one, another one comes up. how's that?

well, just one last week before the school finally closes down, or, at least, for me. just got through the third math11 third dept and im telling you now, i fluncked! well, the second dept natsci 1 exam was a lot more easier cause i was prepared, as in really prepared though there were some questions which i haven't read in the book or hand-outs. well, what i did on those questions were ultimate analization and the what seemed to be the best answer was what i put in the paper.when ana;ization wasn't the solution, then i used my last hope, the famous and undying "minie2x my ni mo'... well, i hope i passed those exams.

it didn't turned out the way i planned it.

2006-03-06T16:40:00.000+08:00

oh shit. things didn't turned out the way i planned it.
~i planned to go to school.but i didn't due to some unavoidable forces that blocked my will.
~i planned to pass my paper.but i didn't coz i haven't finished it yet.
~i planned to talk to camile.but i didn't due to the fact that i didn't go to school today.aww.
~i palnned to go with phoebe. but i didn't coz im stocked here with my works.aw again.
~and there are too many other 'i planned...' that didn't went right.

how lucky can i get?

uhum..

2006-03-05T16:10:00.000+08:00

well, what better way to start this post but to say that m ok.
that's it.fin.

uhmm.news: I just got my second dept in math 11 last friday and it was a boing!boing!.

yah.better beleive me so you won't be surprised when you see the results.aww!..tsktsk.it was my first na inabot ng time and tell you what? i wasn't yet finished.pathetic..now, san ako pupulutin? i want to be a cs pa mandin.well, that's it.

i talked to ninin again.and, it was her birthday.you can guess how i felt.well, liz and i wee talking bout the past[our friendship]. well, she is kinda frustrated on what happened to us and well, the fact that nin isn't talking to her[to us, actually]. it was as if we didn't have a past.hai.
tell you more bout it next time.

nothing.just....

2006-03-01T19:03:00.000+08:00

oh well..great, yah, i actually feel ok. just wanna share some details..

first, i went to camile's place again..actually, for the third time.well, niyaya niay ako.and to tell you the truth, i was kind of shock kasi di ko akalain na pipilitin pa nia ako..and, well.un.haha.anyway, that day was all right. it started with some jogging. truth is, not only some but 14 laps around the SSWC. it was kinda ok, though coz i didn't feel that tired, so unlike of the past runs. camile and i were together all throughout the run.maybe it was because we didn't take it seriously, i mean, we didn't run the entire time. and all the time, we were chatting[bout her guy, again.haha] anyway, it was fun. we talked to ate melissa[my supporter's daughter] during our break. and we, as in i, camile and chez, ate in mcdo. well, during natsci, ms.yao didn't show up but she still gave a quiz with the help of her SA. i talked to kuya lizer,he wasn't that nice. he has some air. oh well, i kinda got pissed off. un, but if anything good ever happened from his pissing me off, that was when camile hug me ang console me with saying that she's my friend. if anything, i found that gesture sweet. then drew and i talked like we used to again. actually, we just talked and talked all the time during histo. it was fun. then camile and i went into slipper-hunting after class. she bought a cute one from chelsea. it was a glittery pair. then we head to her place. whattafun.well, that was it.rahrahrah.

then, another thing i wanna tell you is that, MY EYES ARE SO PUFFY!!as in, uber!i guess, it was due to lack of sleep this past few weeks. my teacher in PE[mr.panganiban] even noticed that i was a bit namumutla...oh, pathetic!

the last thing i wanna say is, THIS IS A HELL WEEK! well, it started late last week and won't stop until the end of this week.ah. pathetic.lots of papers, exams, quizzes.im lucky im still alive.

well, that's all for now. see u.

tiltilating..

2006-02-24T18:57:00.000+08:00

aw. today isn't my definition of a good day. funny you should ask why. well, today, classes of all level, public or private school in Metro Manila, were suspended by Deped and Ched. why? because of a nonsense 'kudeta'. yah.well, i don't care about those news.[though i should tell you that state of emergency was proclaimed.yah,proclaimed].... i've got enough problems in my name that i couldn't afford to acquire more. i still have to do the first draft of my research paper and the bad thing is, i still don't have enough data at hand. i still have to study my math11 for the upcoming dept exam but this thing is more handy. i've got handfuls of matters to understand for my natcsi 1. ok.ok. i should acknowledge one perk the no-classes-situation gave me.today, i was supposed to take a quiz in natsci 1 'bout the matters i don't fully understand. [the reason for this is because i am seated at the back due to the alphabetical seatting arrangement and you know fully well that my vision is so 'labo' and i can't hear her(ms.yao) really well. pathetic, isn't it?]

well, enough of my sentiments.im gonna tell you about my day with camile yesterday[feb23'06].

yesterday, we agreed to go to the national library to research for some data we could use for our first draft of research paper in comm2. i was supposed to meet her at 9 in school campus but due to some unavoidable circumstances, i was forced to reset the time to 10o'clock. well, the day started in a not so good mood. first, i wasn't given even a single cent. luckily, ive got enough money to last me a day. then, the jeepney i rode to bring me to the bus station couldn't run slower than a hearse. and to add insult to the injury, the driver stopped halfway through the travel to the station to call more passengers[by this time, i had already paid my fair so i couldn't go down and transfer to another jeepney] but there was no single soul that would ride in that jeepney until after almost ten minutes of waiting in vain. and the most painstaking of all was this. when i got off that jeepney i was too pissed off that i didn't notice that my bag was bit unzipped. i cross the road 'half walking, half-running, after making sure that the coming vehicles were far enough so i wouldn't be hit. but when i almost got the another side of the street, the contents of my bag went flying all over the place [books, notes, cds, pens, wallet, tissues,even my feminine hygiene paraphernalias..tsk.tsk.]... could my day start any worse?
well, after lots of headaching events, i finally got to school and waited for camile there. we sat on the side of the steps in rh for about 30 mins and talked bout her guy[number6, natsci results..] we rode a jeepney to kalaw then walked to the nat lib. but, oh, sweet heavens. when we got there, the security personel told us that the lib is close until 1 pm due to an ongoing programm. and to think it was only 11am. we decided to spend the time by eating first. after much walking[by thi9s time, we reached UNave] we walked to shakey's. she ordered lunch bunch' w/c included a pasta, potato, garlic bread , chicken and a pizza.
i had a 'manager's choice solo pizza' and a rootbeer float. but i couldn't be more thunderstruck when i saw the pizza. it was so small! but by the time we finished, i thought i was so full [if due to the very small quantity of food or due to the two galsses of drinks, there is no way to know]... camile said that maybeit was because we ate in total slowmo 'n it takes about 20 min before the brain could send the message that we are already full. well, whatever..then, something happened..we decided to walk to sm manila to play the arcade. we stopped in a nearby bench in front of a factory[?] so camile could clean her toenails w/c had gone into a little mess due to her slippers when three, and i mean 3, men['bout in early and late 30's] eyed camile with such malice.no kiddin.i was there. i even changed my place to eye them more freely[but i think it was a wrong move. i should've covered camile instead.] aw. what is it in camile that makes her so attractive to olds?ew. well, we got to the arcade with nothing more significant thing happened. well, that is aside from the scorching heat of the sun. we went back to the lib then look for books. but we hadn't checked even a single one. havn't got time. we walked to school and reached tuano's math11 class, deadtired.what we got at the end of the day? lots of works to do, some memories[at least, for me] and a head-cracking headache.

aw. that was something..

10 Biggest Brain Damaging Habits

2006-02-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

10 Biggest Brain Damaging Habits
1. No Breakfast

People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.
2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development .

5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation

Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts

Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely

Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain

after the gold rush..

2006-02-19T14:40:00.000+08:00

hau..sorry for not coming here the last days.specially during the v-day. well, it was actually a pathetic day. uhya.haven't got anythin good with me except the 'black dress parade' we had.camile and i were almost in identical suite.we both had a black shirt, denim pants and black rubber slippers.well, my date was at camile's place[in her apartment] with camile, herself.nax.nothing special.as in NOTHING! well, that's it.i don't want to bore you with lots of single-at-v-day-whims.

=*=*=*
haha.you haven't heard it yet...well, i danced again.on stage.in front of everybody who was watching the play....

well, it was the 'culture shock' thing.it was the DAC week and the play was a contest that they had set up.the theme was about the revolution of the filipino music in the last five decades. i was supposed to be the star[superlola] of the 60's but they couldn't find the song [o ang babae nor the pilita corales' dahil sa isang bulaklak].. luckily, i wasn't removed in the play because i was a backup dancer of 80's.pathetic but passable.we danced the annie batungbacal song.the guys [dan,luis,john,miguel,randell,jason] danced in the hagibis tune of rock baby rock. diane aninon was the lola and carl chester, aka Chez, was the star of the night in her role as the apo.we won the third price, bit ok. juniors got the fourth, the seniors got the second and the ever dashing performance of the sophies won the first price. it was ok, we'll outperform them the next time.

well, the fun was all taken away now. gotta face the paper works.

co-dependency..

2006-02-09T20:45:00.000+08:00

it was a thing i heard from camile[which she had read from a book.ohyah.]

co-dependency was defined by this situation.now, here we go:

~there was this man who is an alcoholic.he was such an alcohol dependent that his mood would be depended upon the availability of the drink. to avoid the lacking of drinks, he keeps bottles into different parts ofthe house[see the logic?]. one day, he ran out of alcoholic drinks. he look and look around the house but didn't succeed in finding even one. he was devastated. his mood was suddenly so meek. to rub salt into the injury(do i got the idiom right?anyway), the liqour shops are close that day. he searched for miles and miles until he finally found one. but guess what did hedo to the drink?... when he was back home again with the drink in his hands, he didn't drink it. instead, he kept it to one part of the house, finally feeling well with the idea of having at least one alcoholic drink in his welfare.

now, you at least got the idea?i hope.

co-dependency isn't a good kind of relationship. people sufferin in thistendsto dependto another person or things his happiness. in the case of co-depending on people, you incline to do anything to make the person want you back[sounds every bit like a martir]. you also seemed to be afraid being left alone. you tend to be with anyone[and i mean anyone] just so you wouldn't have to face the world single-handedly.
in the case of obsessing things like alcohol and food, you only feel better and comfortable with the idea of owning this things. in the long run, you feel more better in the idea of having this cravings rather than having it in reality[like in a relationship.you are much more thrilled in planning and dreaming than when the thingsare really in front of you].
the differencewith liking things with liking people is that you tendto hope that the person would then reciprocate to your feelings. if they don't, you would be hurt bigtime. that is thereason why you do anythin just to please the person.

you depend on another people or thingsfor happinessandcontentment. now, growth would be impossible for you.
not a good kind of relationship, huh..

the best kind of relationsip is inter-dependent ones. you are related to one another but you go on with your own life.now, growth would be available for both of you.just great.

when camile told me this, i was struck.
'am i co-dependent?' well, honestly, it seems to me that i cant go on being alone.i just cant imagine myself being a loner..am naturally talkative. but i chose who i went out with.so am not directly hit, ayt? well, i would admit that i do almost anythin to please the person i like. but i know my limitations.so am not having the co-dependecy complex, ayt? ah wel.i hope not.

***cortesy of shiela camile.

hai.buhay.

2006-02-07T20:36:00.000+08:00

so, here i am again.just got myself out of the chat with eka.shewas nice.i actually like her though i don't know her really well.am, the way she act was ok, though.ah, im talkin in circles.but then, what else can i do.?.am i rotten? i don't exactly know.

well, this day started really well. ok, except for the ride to school.i was 30 minutes late.[there was no harm done, though.] well, i ran the 8 laps, quite tiring but satisfactory. it's just that i ran with no one. almost everyone did it alone, well, except from some chats with the people you see along the way.

oh, before i forget, today is LOU'S BIRTHDAY!!!

aun.to continue, camile, i and lou ate at TokyoTokyo again.it was okie. well, that 'rich kids' were there too. and jian played a prank too.here it goes:

camile , lou and i were already eatin the main course on ourtable which happend to be a booth. and camile and i, so takaw ever, still have a dessert in waitin. then , out of the blue, jian came to our table, telling us to look at the girls in the other table besides ours. and as curious little berserks, we did. but we saw nothin significant.we ask him what it was but he wouldn't tell.he just ushered us to continue looking in the opposite direction from where we was.and idiotically, we did again.after some moments later, eka's group started to snicker, the way one does when they know sumtin you don't. well, i didn't bother to know what the heck it was. i just grab my jelly dessert and started to plunge in. our blockmates broke into laughter again.this time, uttering my name in between burstings of laughter.i wonder y? then i notice that camile's dessert was nowhere in sight.alas! that was what jian was busy getting his hands on while telling us to look at those gurls.it was funny..haha!

well, that was it.tell you sumtin bout codepencent complex next tym.
hai.
tsk.tsk.

nax.

2006-02-02T13:45:00.000+08:00

1.) saang school and section ka nabibilang?
***sa UPManila block 8ng BA OrCom.detailed na yan hah
2.) ano grade/year mo na?
***Freshie poh...
3.) sino favorite teacher/s mo?
***si Senorita Gemalyn na ata..;D
4.) masaya ba sa klase nyo?
***tinatanong pa ba un? uu naman.uber!
5.) sino mga seatmates mo?
***sina Drew at Camile lagi.minsan, c Eunice din.
6.) maingay ka ba?
***in what sense?hahah.im not loud but VERY talkative.
7.) may crush ka ba sa inyo?
***uhm..haha..uu na nga.. ;D
8.) sino naman yung crush mo na yun?
***c jain.pero dati pa un eh.admiration na lang minsan pag nag eelate sya.
9.) may nagkakacrush ba sa iyo?
*** sus.asa!
10.) sino mga bestpals mo sa klase?
***nung 1st sem, cna ninin, liz at marc.now, cna camile at drew na.pati c eunice.un.
11.) sino lagi mong kaaway?
***meron bah?
12.) sino lagi mong inaaway?
***c camile..heheh.inaasar.d nmn ata naaasar.haha.
13.) sinasaway ka ba ng class pres. nyo?
***ala ganun eh.
14.) may twagan ba kyo ng classmates mo? anu-ano?
***by nicknames lang..
15.) pinaka ppnsin mong classmate?
***lahat ewh.hahah.but criusly, lahat talaga.
16.) class muse?
***ms.freshie namin c risa.
17.) class escort?
***mr.freshie c john.mr.orcomsoc c jian.
18.) class sekseetary?
***c mohameer.ui, may story un.hahah. ;P
19.) class clown?
***c chezie ata.
20.) class heartthrob?
***c risa daw.pero tingin ko, c jian.hahah.
21.) class' beauty and brain'?
***c lou na un!
22.) class math wizard?
***c yela.hands down, man!
23.) pinaka vain?
***ala naman.mukhang carefree lahat e.
24.) pinaka tahimik?
***meron bah?
25.) pinaka masungit?
***c yela ata.sya ung ampalaya e.hihi.
26.) pinaka chubby?
***naku hah.ouch!
27.) pinaka cute?
***for me?parang wala.kc lahat beautiful.nax!
28.) loveteam/s of the class?
***c drew at belle dati eh.
29.) meron bang nali-link sa iyo na classmates mo?
***naku hah!wala.
30.) decribe your section, lahat lahat na?
***ASTIG>ROCKIN>D'BEST!
31.) mahal mo ba classmates mo?
***uu naman.i care for them.
32.) ano message mo sa kanila?
***Keep it up guys!

courtesy of friendster... ;P

day of the hearts.

2006-02-01T20:45:00.000+08:00

now.its just 13 days to go and the day of the hearts, primarily made for lovers[am not excluding the singles], is about to come.now, what?am i lonely?

nah.am not.believe me.you better do.because im enjoying being single.i don't deny the times that i feel envious of the lovebirds out there[tell you, there are lots in the school.here, there and everywhere].but there is no need to feel pity of myself.whats the use?hai.

actually, there is this guy who claims that he fancies me.i don't know hoim in person, though.he is kinda persistent.don't know if im flattered or pestered.i can't say.no can do.he insist that i should see him in person so i could see how he is.am afraid.well, not really afraid but i don't want the idea of meeting sum1 i don't know.what if he is a,well, lets just say, he doesn't pass my standard?i want a witty, a little looker and well, has the wallet.abit.well, the most important is he is smart
bum.

stress...

2006-02-01T19:39:00.000+08:00

bummer..yah.reason?acads.always, it is. the quantity of the works just won't stop.now, what?
this comm-two thing is driving me nutty.the concept paper was the latest.would you believe it?i just took an absent to finish this paper then the teacher would just reject it...and paraphrasing isn't my cup of tea..then our span2 is another matter.just recently, i had the worst performance i ever had.well, it was not only me, it was a whole pack bummer.anyway, the only consolation is i will handle the next play well.the natsci dept was another thing too.last jan31, we took our first dept.it was the physics pat and you know too well that physics[or any scientific thing for that matter is my achilles'heel.shit.the math, well, not bad but not well. PE?well, aus lang.yah.we ran six lapse last week.it was too strenuous yet fun.the challenge was there.i aimed to finish the run with the idea of being the first to finish in the girls category.haha.really, it was a laugh.i ran with lou[marie lou camaclang] and kat[kathleen corcuera]...we did a mix of jogging, running and walking.a lot of grasping for breath wasn't amist either.during the last lapse, lec[angelique maligalig] and dia[mediatrix manalo] joined us. well, it was great[di halata, dba?haha]

well, camile, drew, lou and i ate at TokyoTokyo.it was a bliss.the food was great and the stay was nothing but a laugh.we intend to go back there next tuesday.i reall feel some connections here.camile is great.really.i mean, i could ride her battiness.shockz. lakas ng bat nia pag dating sa guys.sina kuya pau at jm.lakas pa ng appeal sa oldies.4 is to 1 ang ratio.apat na oldies, isang bata.haha.actually, i am wonderin' why i never got irritated by her whims bout guys?well, she's okie. i mean, i wanna pursue a real friendship with her.you know what i mean.well, c drew.same with him.

nax.

my crowd..

2006-01-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

hey,i should tell you that i had a very great time with a friend.well, thats a first since the time i was left alone in the darkness by a former chum.

well, this day wasn't a bonkers and definitely wouldn't be thrown into the loner's bin. actually, i have certain reasons to make this day qualify for the "top ten happiest days in my life" [well, at least, since i started college.] first and foremost, i received a love letter. yah, from my dad [isn't he sweet?]. then i got my allowance..hehe, wanna have some shopping spree[boink!]. afterwards, i had a great timwe with a friend..[yah, that was the hugest reason for this bliss]. we just ate some porridge and coffee[for her] and icedtea[for me]. simple yet i was really overwhelmed with this great surge of happiness. well, it wasn.t always that i meet someone who would make you feel like you really belong and you're not just a nobody.she's really somethin. well, most of the time, we were talkin and launchin the most care free talk. we stayed in the school caf for about two hours, talkin our life away...not mindin the janitor sweepin on our places, the sky that keeps on darkenin and the swarm of mosquitoes that keeps on drainin our blood out of us. we practically talked like there would be no tomorrow.[an understatement.haha]

well, the main point of tellin you this is because i wanna point out that i FINALLY, finally 'met my crowd'. at least, thats what i think and feel..i don't have reservations whenever im with them. don't have pretensions[not that im always pretendin.nah] i don't have to feel uncomfortable every now and then. don't have to think about how to respond and act.i always feel good. rarely was a time that you would see me frownin in agony and angst. everythin is coming and flowing out naturally[as natural as breathin,yeah.] now, who wouldn't want to treasure that?

now, i could say that im with my right crowd..(*,*)

back again..

2006-01-20T11:28:00.001+08:00

know what, in kinda havin a good time nowadays.now, thats something.
well, with drew and camile, schoolworks have become easier. hey, im not yet talkin about the serious-bestfriend type of relationship but im gald to tell you that im really havin a good time with them.. im actually takin care of this because i don't want to regret anythin in the end [ like what had happend in the past.]... but im still takin one step at a time...

anyway, thats just the intro of what ive gotta tell you.. well, i hadnt logged in this past few days because of a major hectic sked.. well, hanggang ngayon pa rin naman... asa pa na magbago.hai.tsk.tsk.
wanna take a look at my calendar? suit yourself...
today, ive got my first dept in math 11.goodluck to me.
ive got to pass my working bibliography.another goodluck because i still have none..
ive got to pass a major paper for histo 2..ahh, just finished.
got three classes to attend, actually, dalawa na lang. absent ako dun sa isa.
what? ayaw mo na... well, good for you to stop intervining in my sked...

guess, gotta say ass off. am late for my next class..

this is my side..

2006-01-03T10:42:00.000+08:00

i think i owe it to you to know the emotional turmoil i had gone through.which, i think, could explain my behavior regarding the chum i loved...

*****my friend, she was great..but i have this insane phobia with her kinds.i don't know how to treat them..arrgg, i told you, it is nutty.. this phobia[as i had put it] started way back my sophomore year in highschool. it was inflicted by a girl who i treated as a friend but left me without much farther ado. it happened like this:
transferee ako dito sa bagong school. well, lahat kami ay transferee, actually. masasabi mo na mga pioneer students kami doon. sa unang araw ng klase, may nakilala ako. galing sya sa isang all-girls-school. wala naman akong nakitang problema doon.. we had been friends for a month. kaming dalawa lang ang laging magkasama.. then dumating yung time na kailangan ko umalis at di pumasok for a wek.. she knew it and i thouht she understood me.. well, aun, pagbalik ko, wala na kong kaibigan. iniwan na niya ako, ipinagpalit sa ibang barkada.. wlang sulat o paliwanag.. i was hurt, terribly hurt. naisip ko na lang na baka boring ako kaya niya ako iniwan.; baka hindi siya sanay sa mga kagaya ko, hindi niya gusto ang ugali ko, at kung anu-ano pa..
since then, di ko na alam kung paano makikitungo sa mga katulad nila...yeah, insane, nutty, batty thing to think and act but i couldn't help it.. always, naiisip ko na baka nabobore na siya sa akin, baka may magawa ako na ikagalit niya or baka nacocornyhan siya... arrgghh, it was a helpless matter.. now, im miserable as ever.. i want the old times back..yeah, im feelin sorry for myself.

geez, i am hopeless..i had fun when i was with her.. but ...she's gone...

hear me out..

2006-01-03T10:28:00.000+08:00

as i had told you before, there is this girl i love [as a friend, anyway].. well, i remember that i also told you it was for real, i mean, i really did.. but then, i had figured that it was a lost battle.. so stopped thinking bout her and bout the seemed-to-be-problem i created to myself.. i just let her go, thinking that she is already happy with her current companions. she was great and i thought she deserves the break [break from what?well, i dont know, myself]...

well, now, i must admit that it was me who drove her away. i did it without really knowing what i was doing. it thisrealization came too late. . .

new year it is..

2006-01-03T10:24:00.000+08:00

Yah..right.new year it is..should it mean new me? no, not at all.
im definitely the same old dana or cami everyone had known for ages.
yah. i dont think there's something in me that i should change. or i could change..
well, old habits are hard to change..

doomed..

2005-12-22T15:56:00.000+08:00

so the spirit of christmas is in the air... but it definitely hasn't reached my oxygen.. oh yah.
im doomed.. has it ever occurred to you that whenever i write here, im in terrible mood. yah.. that's it. i never really had a good time.. i mean, ok, i do have fun times with my friends, but you see, it never really last.. happy moments never really last.
gee, im broken.

hope, by next year, things will be back to its normal, happy shape...
hai, im already askin too much.. doomed.

misers are choosers...

2005-12-22T15:47:00.000+08:00

how can i forget the times people are looking at me like im one kind of a hell-living-person.?
Arghh, never, i guess..
but then? what are you suppose to do? give them a piece of your mind? oh shit.
is hell for real?
coz if there is a real one, why do i suffer now that im still here on earth? or is the earth the entrance of hell?
oh shit[again]...

installed by chum...

2005-12-07T18:51:00.000+08:00

I LOVE HER...
i so love her.
she's a dear friend.a great one, actually.
but i lost her.
i could feel it.
i also could sense regrets running down my veins.
it was my fault, i know.
sorry for myself, i didn't realize her worth in a more earlier time,.

"praising what is lost makes the remembrance dear..."

-lady macbeth-

********exactly what i'm doing right now.ahh. it hurts, really, it does.
but what is left to do? yeah, nothing but move on.
at least , i still have great set of friends. i don't want to lose anyone precious again.i've had learned my lessons with flying colors, you know.

let me get it straight.
i am no t-bird.
i love her .
i do.
there are so many times i told you that.
but let m e add juz now that
all i said was pertaining to a love for a friend.
ah.pathetic.

strippin my soul

2005-10-02T17:10:00.000+08:00

am.havin.my.life's.one.of.the.biggest.battle.
i.want.my.sanity.away.
if.only.i.have.the.power.
but.then.nothing.makes.sense.
look,.im.tired.of.everythin.
but.they're.not.
sanity.should.extinct.